


Fugo's Art Class

by Calicornia



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon), Super Dangan Ronpa 2, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-06 22:38:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17353922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calicornia/pseuds/Calicornia
Summary: Panacotta Fugo enjoys his new job as a college art professor.





	1. Chapter 1

God was not pleased. The coochie had been defiled. Pannacotta Fugo's reign had begun in the Art Studio, the one with all the fucking hipsters that draw 90 anime girls facing 3/4th of the way to the left all day. They all flocked to him for his notable gluten-free soy coochie substitute that he put in the sauce.

"Oh Fugo!" Shouted Eridan Ampora, who had just graduated from Alternia High and gave birth to his son, Gundam Tanaka, "This reminds of the time I gave birth to my son, Gundam Tanaka!"

"Josuke Metallica Nijimura-Higashikata!" Okuyasu drove through the Art Studio's wall on a motorcycle, "I'm here to pick you up from art school!"

"Fuck you dad! You've never understood me!" Josuke Metallica ran to the back of the art studio. His tears garnished the acrylic paint.

"I've never understood a single thing in my life!" Okuyasu cried and accidently went into reverse. Lars had been ran over once more. He came back even pinker than before. Lars's essence was now that of a coochie.

"It's okay, Josuke Metallica, my Four Dark Devas of Destruction will crawl up your dad's pant legs and bite his ass!" Future Ascension Gundam guffawed hevaily.

Panacotta Fugo facepalmed, not another dead Lars! Why was his ex wife coming to his Art Studio? 

"Oi mate!" Nigel Uno walked past the dead Lars, "This mate got some fookin flowers in 'is hands!"

Tears fell into the acrylic paint, not just from Josuke Metallica, but from Panacotta Fugo too. Lars still loved Fugo, even if they have been divorced for 4,096 days. Strawberry cottoncandy motherfuckeeeer. If only their dietary differences didn't cause such a rift between them.

"Mr. Fugo?" Sideshow Bob came out of the closet, "Josuke Metallica is eating paint again."

Fugo turned, and there it was: Josuke Metallica with an entire tube of purple acrylic paint right in his left nostril, blue in his mouth, and green in his ear. 

"You goddamn fool!" Fugo shouted, the paint drying immediately, "I told you Gundam Tanaka had Herpes!"

Okuyasu hung up the phone and seconds later Josuke Not Metallica showed up in robe and hair curlers. His face mask hid his skin, but it could not hide his anger.

"I'M SORRY?" Josuke not Metallica shouted through the other wall, "WHO HAS HERPES!?"

All eyes were on Future Ascension Gundam Tanaka.

"My Four Dark Devas of Destruction have made me immune to Sexually Transmitted Diseases."

Josuke's rage slapped everyone's ass down on the Art Studio except Josuke Metallica and Future Ascension Gundam Tanaka.

"Fuck you other dad, you don't understand me!" Josuke Metallica curled up in Gundam's arm, "I don't care if he has Herpes, his twelve zodiac generals are the only ones who understand my art!"

"JOSUKE METALLICA!" Josuke's hair curls fell out in a rage, one landed in Eridan's drink, and Future Ascension Gundam Tanaka started to Mr. Stark I don't Feel So Good.

"OTHER DAD!" Josuke Metallica screamed as he held what was left of Future Ascension Gundam Tanaka's body: a hamster and some invisible underwear. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU KILLES MY BOYFRIEND!"

But as he said that, Josuke Metallica saw Future Ascension Gundam Tanaka ascending to heaven.


	2. The Ballad of Josuke Metallica

A hand touched Gundam's face, it wasn't his. It was Josuke Metallica's. Purple paint leaked from the pomp baby's eyes. Prince's purple rain blared from the death metal band, Babymetal, in the distance.

"Pour one out for the homie!" Piss Anasui (Soda) emerged from the piss mist. The smell of wasted potential and depression filled the nostrils of everyone in a 4,096 mile radius. The fingers in Rohan's nose twitched from the stench.

"4,096 Gundams in the ground, 4,096 foot!" Rock Lee sobbed, the spaghetti was dropped unamiouslslsksys (thats how that word is spelled in this au). "Gundam, Gundam, no longer here to give you the femdom!"

Josuke's curlers were still in the drink.

Anasui?

No.

Piss Anasui.

* * *

This isn't where it ends, rather where it begins. Piss Anasui was going to rebuild him: with technology.

"Sorry about your boyfriend, Josuke Metallica!" Piss Anasui said as he added wings to Gundam Wing Ascension Gundam.

"It's fine." Josuke Metallica blasted Metallica Josuke. "I have my mashed potatoes."

Piss Anasui remembered the Mashed Potato Orgy. Man, what a day.

"Hey Lois, remember the time we went to the Mashed Potato Orgy?" Family Guy asked his wife, Family Guyette. Family Guy Fieri was preparing mashed potatoes for their wedding when he accidently added Horny Potatoes to the concoction. Man, what day.

"Man, what a day." Piss Anasui clapped. Hermes? She was too busy helping build Gundam Wing Ascension Gundam to clap.

"Are you sure that you know what you're doing?" Josuke Metallica shed a paint tear, which was wiped away by Jump-P. Sad stuff man. Just like the mashed potato orgy, the one that Josuke Metallica wasn't invited to.

It was times like this Josuke Metallica wished he could crawl back into the pouch from which he came.

"Must be nice being a marsupial..." Piss Anasui placed a hand on Josuke Metallica's shoulder, it wasn't his. It was Gundam's disembodied hand. Which one? The left one.

Josuke Metallica's paint turned yellow. No, he couldn't do this to Gundam-chan. Even though he was now a Gundam, he still had feelings for him.

"Don't worry, Josuke Metallica!" Piss Anasui gave a thumbs up, "I'll use my talent to fix your parent's anti-divorce!"

"What talent!?" Josuke Metallica threw his boombox into the wall, dislodging Gundam Wing Ascension Gundam from the bars that held him in place.

Gundam fell to the ground, Josuke Metallica went to town. The town of depression.

Gundam did the worm.

 


End file.
